Outside is only mostly bad

It’s somewhat well-known at this point that I generally abhor the outside. It’s too bright, it’s too hot, there’s all that nature around, and I might encounter the worst thing on the planet. People.

A long time ago, in a galaxy that is apparently the same one we’re in right now, I used to get a modicum of exercise. Walking around a bit at work, mostly to the canteen. Walking to the shops when I needed more food. Walking down to the kitchen to get food. It was a hard life.

That was up until about 18 months ago, when what might be the most globally problematic pandemic ever happened, and I decided to replace the water in the moat with battery acid, remove the drawbridge, and swap external doors for solid walls. (Some of this might be an exaggeration)

So, there I am, working from home, with the realistic prospect of being in the exact same room 23 hours a day, a moderate addiction to diet coke, a liking for chocolate, and a realistic prospect of ending up even more generally out of shape than I normally am

Apparently my mother had objections to this potential future and so I was definitively invited to go for regular walks around the area in the name of getting some exercise and fresh air. The fresh air was certainly more appealing than the exercise, but I’m aware of the benefits of at least some exercise, not least for blood sugar levels.

My mother tends to work late, and I have a high-flying career as one of the top 100% of Twitch streamers on the internet, so our walks tend to be late in the evening. Which turns out to be a really good thing.

It’s generally completely dark at this point, even in summer, and everyone knows dark mode is the only way to do anything properly. It’s pretty chill, even when the day was horribly hot. It is still warm then, but my room tends to be the warmest in the house, so anything is an improvement. There’s also just very few people around, because they’re all doing boring things like sleeping or trying to have children or whatever uninteresting stuff people do in the evenings.

Can’t escape the nature though, and I think I may be working out why I never had hayfever until I made the mistake of going out for walks on a regular basis. Not bad, but I get a very itchy face when we go out, which stops as soon as we get back home. Nature definitely still dislikes me, so that feeling is mutual.


Despite what is unquestionably an addiction to the internet, it’s good to get out and just walk. Even if the length of the walks are highly governed by whatever my sugar levels have decided to do that day, it’s an end-of-day decompress, cool-down, and actually talking to someone I’m related to. Wild, right?

Aside from anything else, we probably know a lot more about each other’s lives, and we have intelligent conversations about stuff happening in the news. Which yes, is mostly politics, plague, and the ecocide we’re inflicting on the planet.

Intelligent discussion and debate is important, otherwise my brain turns into a weird soup, and functions recognised as important to living stop working so well.

During the heatwave we had a few weeks ago, I also found another convenient way to cool down, which did not involve hiding inside a fridge. It’s even cooler to just sit in the garden at midnight than it is walking around, because you’re not generating excess heat, and is extremely calming at the end of a hot day of being in a room with at least one computer on for 16 hours or so.

It’s all very physically relaxing, which is nice, good way to make sure I’m physically tired before I do the whole sleep thing. Doesn’t do so much to turn off my brain though.

There’s no good way to end this so I’ll just go with the simple ending. I actually enjoy these walks even though it being me I probably shouldn’t and yes I even feel healthier for them. If the pandemic ever ends in this country, then I might even keep it up.

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